The Winning Birthday Card thus far

...from sis of course.

The Winning Birthday Card thus far

The Spy Who Loved Me

And then, next game, he knows he's been clocked. So what does he do? Sends his wife!

Sheepers !

The Spy Who Loved Me

The Spy Who Came in From the Bowl

So, there I am, off for an easy few frames of bowling. You know: practise up a bit for challenges with me ol' man.

And what do I see over my shoulder in between balls? The Bearded Wonder himself. Spying on me!

Tchah.

The Spy Who Came in From the Bowl

And yes..in case anyone is wondering

...I am hugely overweight again. Time to get out from in front of Wii and back on the bike!




_______
Hoto
(sent from my mobile phone)

And yes..in case anyone is wondering

Off the scale

(Yawn). Ok, I can wait for ya to catch up, Pop.

Bowling anyone?

Off the scale

Alas, poor ape...

...how thou sweat'st

And a great fear gripped the Shire of The Creek Bragg.

Alas, poor ape...

And verily I say unto thee ...

Fie! Place this in thine countenance, Pater. For nigh thine posterior hath become my canine most feminine.

And verily I say unto thee ...

Dearest Father

Readest thou mine pronoucement of account and grievest with thine tears most sorrowful.


_______
Hoto
(sent from my mobile phone)

Dearest Father

As fall is now most definitely upon us, with falling leaves and temperatures, and since that means another milestone is upon me, the answer to Life, The Universe, and Everything*, it's about time to reconsider my flabby and pasty midriff. Once again it bulges out over my pants as though a hundred rib eye steaks soaked in vodka martinis have risen up and sinuously coiled themselves around my hips. I seem to be hovering just over the 200lb mark and have become a bit disgusted with myself. Thankfully wifey has inspired me yet again. While I've been going for some good bike rides lately, and have been trying to up my cadence to the fat burning zone (puff), I finally broke down and went for a run today.

It was my first run in over a year. And as I wheezed back to my front steps after a feeble and wobbling 4.5k, I remembered why it was that I haven't run in over a year.

It's because running sucks.

It's just a horrible horrible thing with the sole pleasure being stopping. And never having to run again.

So, back to the bike it is.

And as I lay on the couch this evening nursing my rigid calves and whining hamstrings, I realized there's only one thing a man can do at a time like this: Go after my Dad.

That's right. You heard me ... Attack the one man in my tight knit circle of family and friends who I have a hope in hell of catching.

You see, hip surgery aside, he's still a force to be reckoned with in some areas ... Areas where I must exploit his vulnerabilities. Golf, I can't really catch him ... With almost thirty years on me, and a marshall job at his local course, I've got no chance. He's a better musician all round. He's got a science degree. Better read. Speaks a little French and some Russian. Etcetera etcetera.

Therefore I must chase him on the one plane, the one level field where every man can compete with another on even footing, where any man can live the dream of victory over his foe: The Couch!

Or rather, in front of it.

So, Dad, I love you and all, but...READ IT AND WEEP.




*42

Go, team!

Go, team!

Princesses holding court at Olives, Bellagio

Princesses holding court at Olives, Bellagio

35C at Red Rocks, Vegas

35C at Red Rocks, Vegas

Yes... Ye-e-e-e-e-e-s

Yes... Ye-e-e-e-e-e-s

Wait, I thought we were going to Vegas...

Vegas: rendering trips to international monuments for millions of midwesterners redundant.

Wait, I thought we were going to Vegas...

Pathetic

Pathetic

Why is this so disturbing?

Why is this so disturbing?

Hoto - South Park

Top tip: Create your own: http://images.southparkstudios.com/games/create/

Hoto - South Park

Wifey - south park

I

Wifey - south park

It's Dad's birthday today

In honour of my young Ol Man's birthday, I have created a South Park character for him, knowing full well he's probably never seen the show.

Anyway, Happy Birthday dad.

Son.

It's Dad's birthday today

Months to go

Profundities from the Abstruse Goose (http://www.abstrusegoose.com)

Months to go

Better-r-r

Better-r-r

And down we go

.. Oka-a-a-a-a-y.

And down we go

Holy F***

It's been a lo-o-ong summer.

Holy F***

A stitch in time saves nine

Nine stitches (one inside on the muscle). Wifey had a good view of the ol' kneecap while the surgeon was sewing me up at the clinic. I have a good Wimp Gimp Limp going on that I hope to smooth out later this week since rehearsals and gigs loom on the horizon.

A stitch in time saves nine

Mountain Crashing

I love the sport of Mountain Crashing. $2000 mountain bike with $0.25 rider on board - then off board. Wifey has the picture of the 8 stitches.

Gillard Park, Kelowna.

Mountain Crashing

Paperless

No eticket. No paper ticket. No boarding pass. Just a text message and this bar code downloaded to my phone.

The check-in clerk, security clerk, xray screener, executive lounge lackey, gate agent and onboard flight attendant all accepted it with barely a blink. Even scanned it. Wanted to see the text message that came with it a couple of times. One said it is relatively new to them but they are starting to see a few more of them now.

Mobile phones rock when they don't crash.

This one's started acting up, hence the silence. More to come.


--------------------
Hoto
(sent wirelessly from my phone)

Paperless

Marketing pussy

This is what happens when you put a marketing dweeb to work in your yard for twelve hours.

Drumming toughens up the callouses in the old palms, but any other surface is just pasty soft dough.

I need a real f***ing job.
--------------------
Hoto
(sent wirelessly from my phone)

Marketing pussy

Path to Ashes

A handmade casket, built by family.

A son's minivan becomes a hearse.

Nephews and grandsons bear the pall.

Grandsons deliver her to her final appointment.

A lot of closure, done the family way.

--------------------
Hoto
(sent wirelessly from my phone)

Path to Ashes

Hello, it's time to go

There are times when one realizes that one is experiencing something profound.

On Saturday I sat with my Gran for two hours by myself, a peaceful interlude that fortune had granted.

I held her warm hand tightly in mine for a long time, and spoke into her ear, telling her of my love for her; telling her of my sister's love and affection and sorrow; reading Gran a letter from my sis, and describing the outrageous curls that have sprouted from my nephew's head.

I read her the paper - the Globe and Mail - choosing stories that I knew in another time would spark interest or scorn; stories of the Canadian military in Afghanistan, of the new books from Canada's best authors, of the increasing cases of teen violence in Canada.

I kissed her forehead and encouraged her to cough to clear her throat, the way my Uncle and Father had taught me. I gazed at her with the care worker on his hourly visits, standing silently together and watching her laboured breathing.

Sitting in the sunshine beside the bed, I thought a lot about my incredible Uncle and Aunt who cared for Gran with such humanity and humour, such selflessness. I pondered on the hundreds of hours of their lives that they committed to Gran's comfort and health. I thought of my father who had lost his own father, then his eldest brother, and now faced the loss of his mother. I thought of my mother, who lost her father, mother and sister in a cruelly-short span of time. I put myself into her shoes and the enormity of such loss weighed my head so that it hung dead weight between my shoulders.

I thought of my other grandparents, amazing people each, all unique individuals whose personalities have entered me through my parents, all of whom have been gone for so many years and whom I suddenly missed so terribly.

Then I took a picture to remind myself of these moments, of Gran's snowy head lit by the sunshine in the still room, and the chair where I, and my family members had rested at her side.

I watched her until my Father returned and we sat together, watching a hundred years of life at final rest. We watched her until my Aunt and Uncle returned, and then we took our leave, with a final kiss and a last "I love you" spoken into her ear.

Hours later, my Uncle and Aunt having sat at her side for the rest of the day, and while I stood on the deck of a retreating ferry - gazing at the remnants of a spectacular sunset over her beloved Vancouver Island - my gran breathed her last.

--------------------
Hoto
(sent wirelessly from my phone)

Hello, it's time to go

Wii will rock you

Nintendo Wii is amazing. Wii've played
for hours at parties where 8 year-olds and 78 year-olds are equally entertained. Wii've nursed sore elbows after hours of golf and baseball. But best of all, wii've made Mii characters for our friends and family. If you don't know what a Mii is, well ... here goes.

--------------------
Hoto
(sent wirelessly from my phone)

Wii will rock you